Any relationship takes work. The Bible tells us what kind of work a relationship with God requires. God says, if you draw near to me, then I will draw near to you.(James 4:8) To draw near to God means to do and think about the things that please him, while avoiding the things he hates.(James 4:8/1 Chronicles 28:9/2 Chronicles 15:2/Jeremiah 29:13) When God draws near to us,he will be more intimate with us, sharing his thoughts and emotions. God said that his intimacy with Moses was related to Moses obedience with him.(Psalm 25:14/Numbers 12:6–8/Hebrews 12:14/Hebrews 3:5/Jeremiah 29:13) When I dedicated myself to doing everything the Bible said, God started interacting more with me too.

          There is a principle God created, which relates to drawing near. When we do good to someone, they naturally want to do good back, which naturally makes us want to do more good to them, and so on. This is certainly true with God. He promised to reward us and draw near when we love him, unlike people who sometimes return love with hate, and good with evil.(Hebrews 11:6/James 4:8) In any relationship one of the keys to keeping love strong, is to love the other person.(Proverbs 15:1/1 John 4:19/Proverbs 19:22) To love someone, means we need to be concerned about their needs, dislikes, desires and concerns.

          "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4–7) To summarize this list, patient, not irritable or resentful, and Bearing, believing, hoping and enduring all things, seem related to not lashing out when wronged; but giving undeserved grace instead. It seems love is willing to endure hardship for the sake of a change and restoration. Not being rude, or insisting on it’s own, or arrogant or boastful, but rather kind, seem to show a selfless compassion and care, which seeks the good of the one being loved. Hating wrongdoing and rejoicing in the truth shows that this is God’s version of love, dictated by his nature. If we love God this way, we will learn to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Not envying seems to show that our love is focused on God, similar to newly Wed’s not focusing on anyone but each other. Stated a different way, “perfect love drives out fear.”(1 John 4:18) Love can become our strongest desire, overriding fear, pain and suffering.(John 15:13) God built this into most animals, so that a mother will defend her offspring, because she is more concerned about them than anything else.

          God’s love goes beyond just being concerned about us. He is even more concerned about us, than himself. His selfless love, is willing to go through pain to the highest degree (death).(John 15:13) Jesus did this both out of love for his Father and for us.(John 10:17-18/Luke 22:42/Hebrews 12:4/John 15:13) The Father was willing to crush his son, giving us the most valuable thing he had.(Isaiah 53:10/1 Peter 1:18–20) It was Jesus desired to do his Father’s will, to the point that his Father’s will was his will.(John 10:17–18/John 6:38/John 10:30) God’s love gave an infinitely valuable gift to a people worthy of an infinite punishment; “the love of Christ surpasses understanding.”(Ephesians 3:19/Revelation 20:15/1 Peter 1:18–20)

          God’s love was not a one time act, but a continuous eternally ongoing love.(1 John 4:8) This is where our assurance in salvation comes from. God is both able and willing to save us.(Philippians 1:6) Scripture says, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"(Romans 8:32) Paul continues to say, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38–39) The Bible says, Jesus lives as our mediator or high priest.(1 Timothy 2:5/Hebrews 4:14–16)When we sin, he is between us and God, using his death to keep us from God’s wrath.

          God tells us to love him the way he loves us; to do whatpleases him, even if it hurts.(Matthew 10:38) He said, “whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”(Matthew 16:25)If we selflessly love God, he will show us more of his love for us. We are able to love only because he first loved us, and continues to love us.(1 John 4:19/1 John 4:7) He started the cycle by paying for our sins, and he continues the cycle by meeting our needs and satisfying us during this life and in the life to come.(Philippians 1:6) God is love, so when we break this cycle of love, he is able to pour in new love and start it again. Sometimes his love is in the form of discipline, but because it is for ourgood, it is still love.(Hebrews 12:6)

          Jesus said that to love him, means to keep his commandments.(1 John 5:3/John 14:15) In order to keep his commands, we must invest our time and energy, our skills and money, our mind and strength.(Matthew 22:36–40/Galatians 5:14/Mark 12:30/Romans 13:10) Again this both naturally and supernaturally, leads us to care more about him, and love him with our heart and soul. Naturally, because whatever we focus on andstrive after, naturally becomes a bigger part ofwhat we care about. And supernaturally, because of God’s promises, like drawing near and rewarding us. Stated another way, “where our treasure is there our heart will be also.”(Matthew 6:21) So if we invest our time, money and energy into pleasing God and gaining his rewards, our heart will follow our investments.

          In any relationship we become more like the person we are with. The bible says, “bad company corrupts good morals,” and again “friendship with the world is enmity towards God.”(1 Corinthians 15:33/James 4:4) To really have a friendship with anyone we need to have or do common interests. The bible says "Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare."(Proverbs 22:24–25) An angry man is always ranting about and focusing on negative things. If we wanted to become an angry mans friend, we would need to learn and relate to his concerns and desires. And in better understanding his thoughts and emotions, we would naturally be tempted to think and act the same way.

          In the same way if we learn God’s thoughts and desires, trying to understand and relate to him, we can become like him.(2 Corinthians 3:18/Romans 12:2/Colossians 3:10/Titus 1:1) This effort to understand what God hates and loves is part of what the bible refers to as ‘renewing our minds.’ As we learn how to please God, and do what he says, we are transformed into his image, so that people can look at our lives and see a reflection of God.(2 Corinthians 3:18/Romans 12:2/Colossians 3:10/Titus 1:1)

We were created for a love based relationship with God, just like God created woman to have a love based relationship with man.(Genesis 2:18/1 Corinthians 11:8-9/Genesis 2:22-24) It feels totally natural, to have the Holy Spirit guiding, prompting, and convicting us, because God created us with this in mind.(Galatians 2:20) I think this constant interaction with the Holy Spirit is what God created marriage to represent.(Matthew 9:15/John 16:7)

          Our heart is the “well spring” of our life, meaning it drives us, by whatever it craves.(Proverbs 4:23) This is why the bible says to guard it, above all else.(Proverbs 4:23) If we want to love God, our heart’s desire needs to be involved. David asked God to "create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me"(Psalm 51:10) God gives believers a new heart, when he gives us the Holy Spirit.(John 3:6–8/Ezekiel 36:26/2 Corinthians 5:17) But we can change the Holy Spirit’s effect on our heart by how we live. Both disobeying and obeying God, changes our new heart.

          When we sin and disobey, God says we quench the Holy Spirit, diminishing his effect on our lives.(Isaiah 63:10) When the Holy Spirit’s influence diminishes, the fruit of the Spirit, including love diminishes. The Israelites sinned so much in the wilderness that they not only destroyed their love for God but their faith.(Hebrews 3:19/Hebrews 3:10/Hebrews 3:12–14/Isaiah 29:13/Acts 7:42–43) Love is specifically listed as coming from the Holy Spirit, so if we want our heart felt love for God to increase, we need the Holy Spirit’s help.(1 John 4:7/Galatians 5:22-23)

          The bible tells us to be continually filled with the Holy Spirit.(Ephesians 5:18) Most translations don’t add continually, but if you look at how the present tense works in Greek, you will see that “be filled” or “be continually filled” are only translated different based on context. Paul isn’t just saying be filled once, but implying that we continue to do it. In the surrounding verses Paul is explaining how to be filled, he says walk not as unwise, but wise; don’t be foolish, but understand the will of God; be thankful, praising God in your heart.(Ephesians 5:15–21) Paul is saying that the way to be filled with the spirit, is not by sinning, but doing God’s will.

          In the Bible someone who is Spirit Filled is noted as someone who produces the fruit of the Spirit, does the work of the Spirit, and often as someone who doessupernatural works by the Spirit.(Matthew 7:15–20/1 John 4:1/John 10:38/Acts 6:8/John 7:17) In all three of these cases God requires obedience. God says that anyone who thinks they are filled with the Holy Spirit, but are disobedient to God, do not have the Holy Spirit, and are unfit for any good work.(Titus 1:16/Romans 8:7–10/Matthew 7:16-20) This is because God will not be mocked, he only works through those who abide in him, who have built the house of their life on the rock of his truths. (Galatians 6:7/John 15:5/Matthew 7:24–27)

          The blind man Jesus healed, explained the concept of righteousness and interaction with the Holy Spirit, by saying, “Why, this is an amazing thing! You do not know where Jesuscomes from, and yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, God listens to him. Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”(John 9:30–33) This implies that righteousness increases our relationship with the Holy Spirit, which is the main way God relates with us.(John 16:7/John 10:27/John 14:26)

          Enoch was a man noted as walking with God, which Hebrews says was because he believed God would reward his obedience.(Hebrews 11:5–6/Genesis 5:24) Walking with God implies both our obedience to God, and God’s interaction with us, otherwise we would be walking alone.

          To be intimate with God requires the Holy Spirit’s interaction in us. The bible says, only the Holy Spirit can allow us to understand spiritual truths. The natural man (implying without the Holy Spirit) cannot understand God’s ways, because they are spiritually discerned.(1 Corinthians 2:11–16/Hebrews 12:2) So any interaction with God requires the Holy Spirit. When we obey God and he draws near, we are interacting more with the Holy Spirit, and I believe this is what the bible means by being Spirit filled.

          I also want to mention that God sometimes fills people with the Holy Spirit in special ways, by the laying on of hands, prayer, conversion or for special tasks.(2 Kings 2:9–10/Exodus 31:3–6/Acts 10:44–48/Acts 9:17/Acts 19:6/Acts 4:31) But even these experiences didn’t happen to the disobedient, but to those trying to do God’s will.

          The bible says those who have been forgiven much love much, this is not saying we should sin more to get more forgiveness and love.(Luke 7:47) It’s saying God will restore what is broken. If someone is devastatingly shattered, God will do what is necessary to mend that relationship. Anyone who goes deep into lust, drugs, anger, selfishness or any other addictive sin, will have a stronger desire for these sins than before.(Galatians 6:1/2 Corinthians 10:3-4) When we repent God sometimes takes away these desires. But more often, he just gives us a greater desire for him. This gives us the power to choose to keep obeying him, even though we will still have a desire for those sins.(Galatians 5:16–17/Psalm 37:4/Hebrews 11:6 )

          In Summary, our love and hearts desire can drive our thoughts and actions, but God tells us that our thoughts and actions can also change and drive our love and hearts desire. By obeying God, and striving to please him, we can rest in God’s promise to draw near to us; he will maintain and grow our love for him. Even if we don’t feel the emotion of love for God, we can take hold of his promises, and know that our obedience, will cause our relationship and love for him to grow.